new frames
She want a new song She want a new thought She wanna reign She wanna roll She want a new sum She been afraid Sleepin' in days Hoppin’ a new sun Let’s go and do sum’n Let’s go and do sum’n, May New frame, new frame Hop out, new way Nice day, Liu Kang Bike ride insane You know the way Hoppin up, like you knew somethin’ Let’s go and do somethin’ Let’s go and choose somethin’ Why stay the same Let’s make some new songs Up in a balloon songs Jumpin’ act a fool songs In the kitchen, for once Let’s break some rules, huh Double up and make a move on, yeah See your face and then I Froze Elbows out to my foes Keepin’ up on my toes Askin me what I know Freakin’ out and it shows Creepin’ up like a ghost Tellin’ me to go slow Takin’ me to No-Gos Crawlin’ out on all fours Doubt I needed more, but Here goes I been feelin’ summer days Back when we knew what to say We could take it easy, babe I would feel it anyway I would come and we’d escape Take you on to brighter days Break you out from hiding We been sleepin’ in a safe New frame, new frame Hop out, new sun New ways, new games New songs, new dates Liu Kang, insane Yeah Hoppin’ up, new sun Hoppin' up, new funds Up and outta phase Ay New frame, new frame Why stay the same I came I saw I wandered Like I knew the way, ay I made up a lotta ways Just to stay and run in place Reachin’ out from under rocks Heavy with the healing weight of it Drip and wade of it Stories that are made up Askin me to wait up Listen to ‘em Never that, ok Peelin’ back, no switchin’ back Got feelin’ back, ok Done feelin’ bad, oh May It flows Up and outta my toes Keep an eye on my name Keep my feet in my pose Keep my heat in my frame Keep my seat in my soul Keep my meaning the same See the reasons I’m wrong See the season in change Meet em on the way, like Singin’ new songs New frame, new frame Hop out, new frame You know the pain Showed you the way Let go, it fades Never had no meaning Never had no meaning Never had no meaning, anyway I end up so offended when opened up undefended Keep flyin’ up off the hinges I’m makin’ up unamended Keep eyein’ all of my business Karma descended In time, I’ll come and get it It’s mine, I’ll take a minute I’m fine, I know It’s time, check the bank New timeline where we catch a break You’ll find mine Steppin’ out the safe New fine lines on a brighter ray Drop the bags, keep the names Keep the photos, know the pain Drop the mask Then read the notes And feel the ghost say no to shame We grew up to notice things, huh We grew up to notice things, huh We grew up and over, change We grew up and over, change We grew up and over, change Now we need new frames
Credits
Lyrics Written and Performed by me :)
Music Composed and Produced by the44thfloor and t.y. jake
Mixed and Mastered by Deya Records & Angel Vergara (El Otro Lado Studio)
Back of the Page
Are you seriously going to release a song about feeling happy? Now?! with everything going on?
There’s that voice, again.
The one that crawls out on all fours, creeping up, hovering over the “Publish” button like a ghost “that’s not such a good idea, now, is it? what if someone interprets your happiness as a choice to look away from all the pain in the world?” How can you be happy, now?
Can two things be true at once? I guess we’ll find out. There’s another song for that voice: outrage, anger, finger-pointing at myself and others for not doing enough. I gave that voice what it wanted, in the end, but that’s for the next Post.
For now, let’s talk about happier things, like bike rides.
“new frames” is my journey escaping layers of self-imposed depression.
A Pickle-Rick/Andor-Jailbreak untangling some of the harmful stories that were pressing down on me from other dimensions.
Stories like:
“you don’t have the right to be happy when others are suffering”
or “you’re not safe to express yourself; you’re too privileged to take up space”
or “you’re taking yourself (and world events) too seriously! be grateful, lighten up”
or “you protect yourself so much that you’re isolated from good things happening”
It’s a roller-coaster of anxiety that all seems to point back to me needing to change or earn the right to be happy.
I can’t fix the world and yet I can’t stand idly by. There seems to be a program running where I’m always looking for new things to optimize, to fix, or to heal. But every time I take a step in that direction, a self-protection mechanism kicks in, oscillating between Self/Family/World. It spins up a whirlwind of doubt, criticism, and isolation.
My response to this whirlwind of emotion felt a lot like “sleeping in a safe.”
On a road trip last year to Guerneville, CA, I remember visiting a historic bank that had been restored into a fancy ice cream parlor. They had converted the vault into a walk-in area for Instagram photos and left the giant sailor’s wheel of a door propped open. I remember peeking in without entering, feeling a weird energy from inside: probably an irrational fear of the door locking behind me instilled from some childhood Goosebumps plot, “One Day Locked Away in Vault 9” - or maybe it was that time I was trapped in a stalled elevator for hours dressed as Splinter from Ninja Turtles with April (my wife, Zanni) and our Turtle friends. Cowabunga!
But the metaphor of being able to walk into a vault and close the door stuck with me: we’ve all been let down and hurt by other people. We’ve all played the victim card (or at least listened as those victim stories played in our heads). If only the other people did what they were supposed to do, right?
Putting up the walls and locking yourself away for safety is a convenient, privileged narrative to choose after opening up to the world and being “taken advantage of” by people that don’t follow through, that lie, cheat, or steal from you. People that inflict pain on others and get away with it. We can see injustice everywhere if we choose to, and boy, did I see it, and take it personally.
The two most emotional lines in the song for me were “we’ve been sleeping in a safe” and “I end up so offended when opened up undefended.”
Life has felt like a dance of opening up with vulnerability, shaking things up when they get too rigid, and seeking out new experiences for growth. The most beautiful moments have been the unexpected ones, where I find a deeper level of trust.
Not a trust in what the other person will do, but a trust in energy balancing out in the long-run.
This song is me coming to terms with the fact that I can’t solve it all, but I can do something. I can be grateful and happy, even in the moments where there is immense disappointment, disillusionment, and outrage at what other people are doing. How can I re-center my narrative on what I choose to do and how I interact with people, trusting that things will balance out with karma in the long-term.
Once I find that level of trust (and it comes and goes…), I lose the urge to shelter-in-place for protection, because I know that whatever happens, I will recover and things will balance out energetically, in the long-run. My stories fall away and the World moves on. But while I’m here, I’m going to try on some new frames, embracing both sides: the happiness and the anger. More on the latter in my next Post.
Thanks for listening, and please share with someone that would appreciate this song!
What new frames have you tried on recently?
I Write-on bro If-not you ,who? ; If not now, when ?
Perfectly expressed vulnerability: “I end up so offended when I open up undefended”. Reading your previous posts, I have recognized your bravery in taking personal stands that directly land you in angry conversations, in a world full of discord. Stay brave and happy… you deserve joy.